unlucky number four misses the time-space she once inhabited.

in 2017, i went back to asia for the first time in six years. i visited both sides of my family—in malaysia and hong kong—along with backpacking alone in vietnam and thailand. i was traveling for four months and saw a lot. i largely felt lonely and alienated, despite being surrounded by people who looked like me. the trip back started a personal unlearning process—of deconstructing chinese national identity and analyzing inter-asian racism, and how race functions differently in the united states and southeast asia, based on  perceived (and very real social and economic) power.